Sadly, sex addiction still isn’t taken as seriously as other forms of addiction such as a compulsivity to take drugs, drink alcohol or gamble. Despite the many misconceptions about the condition, it does in fact have a proven neurological and psychological basis.
To help raise awareness about the severity of sex addiction, below we have highlighted four mind-blowing facts about the condition.
Sex addiction is as powerful as crack cocaine
Research carried out at Cambridge University shows that the pleasure centers stimulated in sex addiction are similar to those in pharmacological addiction.
Using porn and engaging in other thrill-seeking sexual practices in a compulsive manner, eventually, recalibrates the brain to such an extent that it cannot revert back to its original state and is chronically impaired as a result. As with any other addiction, the brain then craves this fix which is when an addiction to sex develops.
Sex addiction can also be expressed through abstinence
Sex addiction is an intimacy disorder. It’s about a compulsive, habitual or rigid attitude towards sex because the sufferer fears the intimacy of relationships.
When we hear about sex addiction, it’s always about people looking for multiple sexual partners, going to brothels or watching excessive amounts of pornography. Few people are aware that sex addiction can also mean not having sex at all and sometimes compulsively avoiding sex with their partner, also known as sexual anorexia.
This is because, in part, sex addiction is about the inability to set boundaries. Sufferers often switch between mixed feelings of having sex even though they don’t want to (an affair for example) and not being able to have sex when they do want to. This shame cycle often leads to periods of going cold turkey and then falling off the wagon and engaging in extreme promiscuity.
Sex addiction isn’t about sex
Many of us assume that sex addiction stems from the desire to engage in sexual activities and that sufferers have a high libido. It is in fact very rarely about the act itself and has more to do with escapism, power, trying to regulate feelings or because the person is addicted to the chemical rush they get. The planning and intrigue around a sexual encounter is often more intoxicating than the encounter itself.
Those who are addicted to sex sexualize stress, anger, self-pity, shame and resentment or act out because they feel unfulfilled, ashamed or simply entitled to it. Common to most addictions of this kind is a history of childhood trauma. This could be in the form of abuse, extreme neglect or inadequate parenting and is something that can be identified in sex addiction recovery.
You don’t recover from sex addiction by being celibate
Sexual addiction treatment can be incredibly complicated. Traditionally, when trying to overcome an addiction, you work hard to give up the very thing you’re hooked on. While drinking, taking drugs and gambling aren’t basic human instincts, it’s only natural to give up these things if they’re causing destructive behaviors.
Because sex is a normal and healthy part of a relationship, however, abstinence is not the goal. It can feel almost impossible to get your head around this regardless of whether you’re the person with the condition or you’re trying to support someone with a sex addiction.
It’s for this very reason that sex addiction therapy is key to recovery. Here you will discover the underlying cause behind the behavior, what your triggers are and how to avoid relapsing. It will also help to rebuild any relationships which may have been damaged in the midst of the addiction.
If left untreated, sufferers may start experiencing feelings of intense guilt which can develop into low self-esteem and eventually, depression. They can also develop family and relationship problems as behaviors become more hurtful or damaging.
If you think that you or someone you know could benefit from sexual addiction treatment and would like to speak to a sex addiction counsellor, please feel free to contact Toronto Trauma and Addiction Counselling and we will be more than happy to help.
