Most of us know how difficult it is to resist even the simplest of things. Whether it’s that extra cookie or checking your phone every two minutes, the more we try to stop ourselves from doing something, the more we think about it.
Addiction is of course far more serious than eating too many cookies and sex addiction is particularly complex. While your therapist is likely to tell you that you should eventually be able to engage in healthy sex life, in the beginning, stages of treatment, you will more than likely be advised to abstain from any and all sexual activities.
The symptoms of withdrawing from sex will of course be different for everyone. Generally, however, most people going through recovery will experience some or even all of the side effects listed below. If you’re struggling to deal with this, we’ve also included some great coping mechanism which can really help.
Sex addiction symptoms
If you think that you or someone you know may have a problem, below are some of the most common sex addiction symptoms:
- Frequently engaging in sex and doing so with multiple partners.
- Being preoccupied with thoughts of sex.
- Trying to cut down on your encounters but being unsuccessful in doing so.
- Spending considerable time on activities related to sex such as looking for potential partners, visiting pornographic websites and frequenting venues where this type of behavior is encouraged.
- Neglecting responsibilities such as work and family in pursuit of sex.
- Continuing to engage in sexual behaviors despite the consequences.
- Needing to increase the frequency or intensity of sexual activity in order to achieve the desired effect.
- Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.
- Putting your safety at risk just for the sake of getting a fix.
Can you get sex withdrawal symptoms?
Withdrawal from sex addiction is likely to look different for everyone but it is common to experience waves of mixed emotions, along with physical symptoms. If pornography has featured heavily in your addiction, you may also experience porn addiction withdrawal.
The mental and emotional components of sex addiction withdrawal can be intense – especially in the beginning. Just like substance abuse, it can also cause cravings.
Simply understanding that you’re feeling the way you are because you’re experiencing withdrawal can be a great help. Sex addiction withdrawal symptoms can be physical, emotional, mental, or a combination of all three.
Sex addiction withdrawal symptoms can be physical, emotional, mental, or a combination of all three and may include:
- Feeling irritable and/or grumpy
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Insomnia
- Hyperactivity or hypersensitivity
- Anger
- Boredom
- Physical and/or emotional discomfort
- Mental and physical exhaustion
- Mood swings
- Having irrational thoughts
- Cravings for engaging in sexual activities
- Struggling to focus
- Feeling lonely
- Outbursts of overwhelming emotion
It’s not uncommon for sex withdrawal syndromes to change or go from one extreme to the other. You may, for example, feel hyperactive one day and then not be able to get out of bed the next. You may feel ready to take on the world on Sunday evening and then wake up on Monday morning feeling incredibly depressed or anxious.
There’s no shame in struggling with your feelings at this time and it doesn’t mean that your recovery isn’t going to be successful.
There is also no sex or porn addiction withdrawal timeline. There are however ways you can ensure you get on the road to recovery and increase your chances of staying on track. It is for example, very important to have someone you can confide in. A friend, family member, partner, or counselor can be imperative because simply offloading your feelings can help make sex withdrawal side effects feel easier to manage.
Identify your triggers
Addiction is fueled by impulse and compulsion which is why it’s often a cycle for so many people. The addiction cycle consists of three stages including:
- Addiction (where you can’t help but binge on a substance or behavior)
- Withdrawal (which is what you will experience when treating sex addiction)
- Relapse (usually caused by the preoccupation with your addictive behavior)
The addiction cycle is very difficult to break. In fact, 40-60% of those in recovery will relapse at some point. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible, however. In addition, contrary to popular beliefs, relapse is not inevitable. One of the key factors for successful sex addiction treatment is learning to identify your triggers and treating the underlying issues.
Every time you’re experiencing sex addiction withdrawal symptoms, make a note of the date, time, how you were feeling, what you were doing and where you were at the time. This will help you to accurately identify what’s triggering these feelings.
Maybe hanging out with a particular friend makes you crave your old life, alcohol makes you weak or arguing with someone makes you angry and want to act out. Once you know your triggers, you will know the people and places to avoid.
Possibly the most important thing to make yourself aware of at this stage is that relapse is a process. If you learn the stages of this process, you will be able to identify that you’re in it and take the steps needed to stop yourself from relapsing.
The process of relapse typically happens in three stages:
- Experiencing relapse thoughts – at this stage, you’re starting to think about relapsing, what it would be like and how you might go about it. You may even genuinely believe that your addiction has occurred and that you would therefore be perfectly fine to engage in old behaviors.
- Planning your relapse – you’ve started to take your thoughts to the next level and are now actively planning your relapse. You might have a date in mind or start making arrangements for a sexual encounter.
- Relapse – this is where you can no longer control your urges and physically give in to your addiction
Triggers can be emotional or physical. If you’re experiencing any of the following, it’s a good idea to speak to someone in your support network or book extra counselling sessions until you’re feeling stronger again.
- You’re more stressed than usual
- You’re experiencing mental health issues such as depression or anxiety
- You’re feeling frustrated
- Fear is dominating your thoughts
- Someone in your social circle reminds you of your addictive behaviors which triggers you to want to engage in them
- You’re visiting certain places that remind you of sexual behaviors (if this is the case, these places need to be avoided)
- Social occasions make you want to engage in sexual behaviors
Keep physically active
When you act out sexually, you release endorphins so it’s important to find other, healthier ways to achieve this high. One of the best possible ways you can do this is with exercise. Adding exercise to your sex addiction treatment can really help to strengthen the effects of recovery and help you to deal with the withdrawal symptoms that come with it.
Research on the effect of exercise during withdrawal is unfortunately limited. What we do know with certainty however is that exercise reduces stress, anxiety and depression – all of which are symptoms of withdrawal.
There is also research to suggest that exercise can help to prevent relapse by reducing cravings and improving treatment outcomes. In one study, participants recovering from alcohol use disorder, (who had completed the withdrawal phase of detox), had fewer urges to drink when they were able to engage in bouts of exercise. People recovering from cannabis use disorder who engaged in longer periods of exercise were also found to have reduced cravings for the drug.
Studies on animals who had previously been addicted to drugs show that when exercise is available to them, they were less likely to relapse. It was however found that forced exercise could have the opposite effect so if you’re supporting someone through withdrawal who really doesn’t want to exercise, it’s important not to force the matter.
Develop your social circle
When you’re trying to overcome an addiction, you’re going to need support more than ever before. It’s unrealistic to expect one person to be there all the time however so try to develop your social circle. Not only does this ensure that you always have someone to talk to, the more people you have in your life, the busier you will be which means less time to think about your addiction.
Please note that it’s very important that you’re only around people who are going to be a positive influence on your recovery. Anyone you associate with your old life or who encourages you to participate in unhealthy behaviors should be removed from your circle of friends.
Improve your sleep patterns
There’s a strong possibility that you weren’t sleeping well in the midst of your addiction anyway but insomnia is unfortunately another very common sex withdrawal syndrome. Your body has come to rely on the activities associated with your addiction so when you stop them, your body is unable to fully relax.
Insomnia can be very difficult to overcome but it’s important to try to do so because it can lead to a number of issues during recovery.
- A study in the journal, Psychiatry found that diagnosing and treating a person’s sleep disorder can greatly help to prevent relapse. There are many reasons for this including the fact that you probably associate certain habits with being able to sleep. Perhaps you used to engage in particular sexual activities right before bed. When you stop doing them, you will more than likely convince yourself that you won’t be able to sleep because you haven’t carried out your usual routine. If you’re very sleep-deprived, you’re more likely to relapse in a desperate attempt to get some sleep.
- Lack of sleep can have a dramatic impact on our mental and emotional wellbeing. Feelings of depression and anxiety are often what drives us to addiction in the first place so if lack of sleep is causing you to experience these emotions, you may relapse as a coping mechanism.
- A lack of sleep diminishes the brain’s ability to focus, to retain information, solve problems and make decisions. You need a clear head in order to continue to make the right decisions during the recovery process.
- You’re more likely to be able to control your mood if you consistently get good sleep.
- After a good night’s sleep, you’re less likely to act on impulse and do things that aren’t conductive to sex addiction treatment. Chronically sleep-deprived individuals in recovery on the other hand, are more likely to engage in risky behaviors.
Fortunately, there are a number of things you can do which when done consistently, can dramatically help to improve the quality of your sleep.
- Have a sleep schedule. This will consist of going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, even at the weekend.
- Keep an eye on what you’re eating and drinking, especially in the few hours before bedtime. Anything that contains caffeine will make it more difficult to sleep and heavy meals late at night can also disrupt sleep.
- Alcohol is a sedative so it can be tempting to have a few drinks before bed. While it might make you fall asleep initially, it stops you falling into a deep sleep so you still won’t wake up feeling refreshed.
- Avoid smoking because nicotine is a stimulant.
- Check you don’t have a medical condition which could be contributing to your insomnia. This can include allergies, reflux, hyperthyroidism, restless leg syndrome, arthritis, asthma, sleep apnea, chronic pain and neurological conditions.
- Medications such as those taken for colds, allergies, high blood pressure, heart disease, thyroid disease, birth control, asthma and depression can also cause insomnia.
- If you normally watch television or work in your bedroom, stop doing this if you can. The bedroom should only be associated with sleep otherwise it can be difficult to wind down.
- Avoid using mobile devices in bed.
- Keep a notepad next to your bed and if something is worrying you, write it down so it’s out of your mind.
- If you’re finding it difficult to sleep, get up and do something relaxing like reading a book. After about half an hour, go back to bed and try again.
- Ensure your bedroom is as dark as possible. Even a small amount of light can affect melatonin production which can affect your natural sleep cycle.
- Even if you’re tired in the day, try to avoid taking naps.
Get sex addiction counseling
Your ability to effectively heal from sex addiction greatly increases with the help of a professional counselor.
Addiction of any kind is difficult to overcome. Even if you’re feeling on top of the world one day, the next you may be full of self-doubt and all you can think about is relapsing. A counselor can help you during those difficult days as well as teach you the coping mechanisms you need to get through them.
More often than not, addiction is the result of trauma or mental health issues. The only way you will ever truly overcome your addiction is to address the underlying cause of it – this is something that’s very difficult to do unless you’re receiving the right help.
It’s also worth noting that any underlying issues you may have (such as repressed memories), often become significantly more prolific once the addictive behavior stops. This is because you no longer have an addiction to mask the issues you were trying to ignore. Naturally, this can be very difficult to deal with and without the right support, there’s a strong possibility you could relapse because you don’t know how else to cope.
One of the most effective ways of dealing with sex addiction withdrawal symptoms is to attend regular therapy sessions. There are a number of options available to you including individual sex addiction counseling, couple’s therapy, and group therapy. You may wish to participate in one or all of these options – this is something your counselor will be able to discuss with you depending on where you are in your sex addiction treatment.
If you would like to speak to someone about treating sex addiction or you would like further information about sex addiction symptoms, please feel free to contact us in the strictest of confidence and we will be more than happy to help.
