Many of us are guilty of assuming that there’s no such thing as sex addiction but it has in fact been likened to substance abuse due to the powerful chemical substances that are released as a result of it. Just like alcohol, drugs, gambling and eating can become addictive, so can sex which means that sadly, some people simply can’t control their behavior.
Despite this, sex addiction is still very misunderstood, difficult to understand and even experts still struggle to identify exact sex addiction causes. Fortunately however, the signs can be a lot more obvious. If you think that your partner may have a problem, below are 9 signs to look out for.
Sex addiction signs
It can be difficult for a partner to determine if their loved on has a sex addiction because how do you know when someone has a problem and when they simply have a high sex drive? Furthermore, it’s highly unlikely that we spend all day, every day with someone so how do you know when the other person is hiding something?
Below are some of the most common signs of sex addiction which can serve as a helpful guide to determine whether or not your partner may have a problem.
- They have become preoccupied with or are always craving sex. As a result, they may spend considerable time on activities related to sex such as looking for potential partners, visiting pornographic websites and frequenting venues where this type of behavior is encouraged. Naturally, your partner may become increasingly secretive about their whereabouts.
- Compulsive sexual behaviour – they’re increasing the frequency or intensity of sexual activities in order to achieve the desired effect.
- Their sexual behaviour is becoming increasingly extreme and they may be unable to resist the urge to carry out sexual activities. For example, they may pay for sex, participate in sadistic or masochistic behavior, show behaviors of exhibition or voyeurism, have one night stands or suggest you attend sex parties.
- They’re neglecting responsibilities such as work and family in pursuit of sex.
- They continue to engage in sexual behaviors despite the negative consequences. At this point, chances are that your relationship has started to deteriorate – sadly, one of the most common consequences of sex addiction is that relationships suffer. While nobody wants to hurt the people they love, unfortunately, partners are often the ones to experience the most anguish as they are left feeling helpless, alienated, isolated, angry, humiliated and sometimes even depressed.
- They become irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.
- Emotional symptoms – those with a sex addiction rarely have healthy boundaries. For example, a married person wouldn’t normally visit a prostitute but a person with a sex addiction very well may do so. If your partner is repeatedly carrying out wrong and hurtful acts even though they feel shame or know they’re hurting you, they may benefit from speaking to a sex addiction therapist.
- Physical symptoms – although there are few physical symptoms of sex addiction, it can lead to health issues including unwanted pregnancy, venereal diseases, sexual dysfunction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression.
- They’re unwilling to hear you out – if your partner shuts you down or gets incredibly angry or defensive every time you try to speak to them about your concerns, this could be a sign of a problem.
It is critically important to remember that whether your partner has just one or even all of these symptoms, that does not mean that he or she has a sex addiction. Like any other addiction, assessment and diagnosis need to be made by a competent professional who specializes in this area of practice.
If you think that your partner could benefit from speaking to a sex addiction therapist, please feel free to contact Toronto Trauma and Addiction Counselling in the strictest of confidence and we will be more than happy to help.
