Growing Up Too Fast
Having an addicted parent can put undue stress on a young, developing person. Oftentimes, the children of addicts have to take on more “adult” responsibilities from a young age, such as making their own meals and doing many of the chores around the house. In some cases, these children and their parents will even “switch roles”, with the child taking on a parental role for their own mother or father. For example, a child may learn to clean up after their addicted parent, cook for them, drive them home (before they are of legal driving age), or assist them to the bathroom or to bed when they are sick. In the most tragic of cases, children of addicted parents are the ones who first find their parent after an overdose. These additional responsibilities and stressors in a child’s life deny them of having the normal, carefree childhood that every child deserves and needs in order to grow up healthy.
Possible Negative Outcomes
At times, the stress and pressures of their home life become too much for children of addicted parents. The overbearing stress might manifest itself in emotional or behavioral problems. COAs may practice social isolation, withdrawing completely from others while at school or in other social environments. They might get in fights or act out against their teachers and other authority figures. If a teacher doesn’t know about the difficulties at home, they might be inclined to discipline the child, rather than support them, further exacerbating the situation. Children of addicted parents are also more likely to develop an addictive disorder themselves as they get older.
Support and Treatment for COAs
In general, treatment for children of addicted parents is best pursued once the parent’s addiction is under control or the addicted parent has removed themselves from the home. Once the addicted parent is undergoing treatment, you should teach the child that addiction is a treatable illness and that the addicted parent is trying to get better. Encourage them to openly communicate about the addiction. Children are generally more aware than adults give them credit for – allowing them to express their feelings and thoughts about the addiction will give parents insight into how much they understand, and how much they are being affected by the addiction. Last but certainly not least, ensure that the children understand they are not to blame for the problems at home. Kids often internalize problems and think they might be at fault. It is crucial to help them understand this isn’t so.
It is essential that the whole family is involved in the process of recovery from addiction. It affects each individual, each child, and each family in a different way, so be sure to give each member of your family, including the children, a chance to voice their feelings and thoughts during this difficult time.
