If you are struggling with an addiction, like many people, you have probably been able to maintain that balance fairly well for a period of time. In fact, when you first began using your preferred substance(s) or began engaging in problematic behavior(s), you may not have thought that you had an addiction problem at all or that this would turn into an addiction. This is common. However, most addicts realize at some point that they’re losing the battle of maintaining that balance.
Let’s take a closer look at the way addiction works to find out what stage you might be in right now.
Denial
One of the coping mechanisms most people use is denial. They tell themselves that their addiction is something they have complete control over. They don’t see any outward consequences of their behavior so they come to truly believe that they can handle it. Perhaps you can recall saying one of the following phrases to yourself:
● “I can stop this any time I want to stop.”
● “I’m not hurting anyone, so what’s the big deal if I keep using or engaging in my behaviors?”
● “The behaviors don’t affect my family life at all, so everything is fine.”
● “I’m still a functioning member of society. I still have a decent job. I am in complete control.”
● “I only need to do this now. I can stop next month/year, when my stress levels are down.”
These statements are classic signs of an addict who is living in the denial phase. This phase can last for a few months, or even a few years. Many addicts continue to balance their addictions with their everyday lives fairly well, until one day they find that they’re beginning to lose control as the addiction really takes over.
Obsession
Perhaps you can relate to this stage because it’s where you’re finding yourself right now. You once felt like you had control over your addiction, but some time has passed and you’ve found that you’re no longer the one in charge; your addiction is. You may have been able to keep your addiction a secret for a long time, as many addicts do. However, once you start placing your addiction in a place of importance above everything else in your life, it’s clear that you’re really not in control at all. In fact, you’re beginning to lose control of every aspect of your life. You are constantly in a state of preoccupation. Whether it is preparing for acting out, fantasizing about acting out, the actual acting out, recovering from the behaviors or trying to hide the behaviors, your life has begun to revolve around the addiction.
Many of my clients live in a state of obsession for a long time before they decide to get help for their substance or behavioral addictions. For some of them, once they moved out of denial, they were able to really see the need for professional help in overcoming their addictions.
As a Toronto Addiction Therapist, I can help you learn the strategies you need to beat your addiction before it takes over your life. Even if you’re still finding yourself in a state of denial, the fact that you’re reading this likely means that you know you have a problem or at the very least, concerned about your behaviors. I will meet you where you are, no matter what stage of addiction you’re experiencing right now. Together, we can overcome it, and you can win that battle once and for all.
If you’d like to find out more about how I can help you, let’s talk.
