Severe, life-altering situations often result in a person experiencing trauma after the situation or event has taken place. However, while trauma is often thought of as something physical that occurs to someone, it can also be experienced through events such as finding out your parents are getting a divorce when you’re young, or getting made fun of in school. While getting made fun of on one occasion may not be a “big deal”, enough of these “little t” traumas, can have the same damaging effects as a single “big T” trauma. If you have experienced trauma, you may be dealing with a host of realities that are wreaking havoc in your life. For a person who is dealing with trauma, they’re desperate to feel normal, but they’re unable to reach a point in time when they ever do.
Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk wrote a book called The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. In this book, he explores his own firsthand experience with patients who had dealt with traumatic events in their lives. He talks about what he observed in an effort to shed some light on the effects certain events had on them and how he helped them.
Losing Who You Are
One of the results of a traumatic event for most people is experiencing a loss of their sense of self. In the book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk discusses one Vietnam War veteran in particular who, he claims, was well-prepared and well-adjusted when he went off to war. When he arrived at the base, he quickly made friends with another soldier and the two of them quickly became inseparable. On one particular day, their platoon was attacked and his friend died from a gunshot wound.
The veteran’s response was horrific, but it was typical of anyone who has been traumatized in war. It was apparent that revenge was the only thing on his mind when he entered a neighboring village and began killing children as well as a nearby farmer. He also raped a Vietnamese woman. He was acting out in rage, and his actions would haunt him for the rest of his life. In fact, when he returned home, he couldn’t leave those actions behind. Instead, he struggled with feelings of guilt and shame over what he had done. He reacted with horror during the 4th of July when the fireworks were being set off. He couldn’t even watch his child take his first steps because of the thoughts of the children’s lives he had taken in his rage.
Perhaps you can relate to how this patient felt. Maybe you’re dealing with your own thoughts of rage because of a traumatic event you have experienced. In future we’ll talk some more about the reality of trauma. However, it’s important for you to know now that if you identify with some of these feelings, help is available for you.
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