Anyone who has ever experienced trauma knows that it leaves holes in its wake. These may be holes of:
- Not being wanted
- Not being seen
- Not being able to speak the truth about what you were facing
- Not being able to feel loved
- Not being acknowledged
When you can’t find the words to express how you feel, and you’ve never really had the opportunity to try, the result is a low sense of self-worth and an inexplicable void. Sometimes, it’s not even possible to recapture what it’s like to feel safe because you’ve never had the experience of safety before.
The question is, what if these feelings can somehow become reconstructed? Is it even possible? In his book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk states that he believes it is.
Restructuring the Past
For just a moment, think of your mind as a theater. This is where the events of trauma replay themselves over and over again. Now, imagine that you’re able to bring the people who are players in your theater out into the open space before you. Dr. Van der Kolk relates his own experience with this idea when it was first introduced to him by encouraging the position of placeholders to represent various key players in the “performance” of his life. The practice allowed him to feel what he felt during his own trauma, but it also gave him power over the playing pieces.
For example, large pieces of furniture represented his overbearing parents, while smaller pillows represented his wife and children. The situation gave him the opportunity to say things he couldn’t say in the past to his “parents.” At that point, he had the freedom to move the pieces around and even create new pieces that represented the parents he wished he had instead.
Witnessing the Re-visitation of Trauma
One of the crucial parts of this exercise is the act of witnessing what the person is feeling as he goes through the experience. This involves providing nonjudgmental feedback as feelings are expressed. By accepting what’s being expressed, the witness is able to provide unconditional support and understanding, which is something the individual probably hasn’t felt in a very long time.
When this process is accomplished in a group setting, it’s also possible for people to play the roles of the people who led to the trauma.
Have you been through a traumatic event in your life? It’s possible that you’ve always believed that these traumatic memories will remain a part of you forever. That doesn’t have to be the case. The right trauma therapist can help you in the way that works for you to overcome your trauma.
If you would like to make an appointment to begin your treatment, please contact me.
