Words often evade trauma victims on many occasions. Frequently, they may find their bodies responding in various ways, but the mind and emotions are not engaged at all.
In his book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessell Van der Kolk discusses this condition. It is known as Alexithymia, and it’s actually quite typical among people with trauma.
What is Alexithymia?
Alexithymia is a Greek word that means not having words for feelings. This is something that is seen in both children and adults who have been traumatized. They lose sense of what their physical sensations mean, and so, they can’t describe what they’re feeling.
To demonstrate, Dr. Van der Kolk shared a story about one of his beloved aunts. This woman had become a grandmother figure to their family. She would come to visit and would always jump in and get things done around their home. She would wash clothes, mend clothes and do anything else that needed to be done. She never spoke much at all.
When it came time to leave, the tears would roll down her face from the sadness of leaving her family. However, she didn’t recognize them as crying at all. It was as though she was disconnected. In her voice, she showed no emotion.
This is a perfect example of Alexithymia, and it’s something that so many trauma victims experience.
The Concerns About Alexithymia
People who experience Alexithymia will often be complete disassociated with their emotions. They may appear to be angry, but assure you that they’re not. They may appear to be afraid, but assure you that they’re not.
This happens because they have lost touch with what’s going on inside of them. They don’t know what’s happening in their bodies, or in their emotions. As a result, they don’t know what their needs are. They often struggle to care for themselves.
People with this condition will also experience their emotions as physical ailments. They may have pain in their muscles, or they may suffer from digestion problems. When they go to the doctor, nothing can be found that’s wrong.
Another concern is the lack of positive, fruitful personal relationships. Husbands and wives find that they have a hard time relating to their spouses. Friendships grow distant, or they have a difficult time forming at all.
Fortunately, people with Alexithymia have hope. They can learn to recognize the relationship between their emotions and the physical things they experience. The hard part of this is that so many are not willing to try. Far too many are more eager to treat phantom medical conditions than to work on healing the trauma.
It is my hope that this is not the case with you.
If you are someone who has Alexithymia, you need to know you’re not alone. So many others have suffered from this condition, and trauma therapy can help.
If you would like to talk about your own personal situation and learn how I can be of assistance to you, please contact me for an appointment.
