Everything can change once you successfully access your Self. Not only will you be able to relate better to the different parts that are within you, but you will also have the courage to better relate to the people around you as well. If you have yet to experience your Self, it just means that your parts have not been able to trust it yet. But that can all change very quickly.
The Parts Vs. the Self
For a very long time, your parts have been responsible for making your internal family system safe. It has been their job to protect it, and in a way, it has become a way of internal parenting. That is why you might experience a trigger and react with anger, or why you might feel the need to retreat emotionally when you encounter a confrontation. But the good news is that your parts can be assigned different jobs of your choosing.
Your Self has always been there; it has just been oppressed because your parts believed it to be incapable. It is up to you to allow it to emerge so that it can take control back from your parts.
The Self must ask the parts to take a step back, and it must do so with understanding and not malice. Over time, the parts will learn to trust the Self’s leading. Some exciting changes can happen when this takes place, such as:
When you get upset, your parts take over and your Self loses control. But when the Self is in control in a stressful situation, it is often possible to calm the parts that are upset and offer them comfort.
The Benefits of Being a Self-Led Person
Once you know what it is like to be a Self-led person, it’s really easy to see it in other people. They are confident, accepting and open about themselves to other people. It’s easy to relax around them and feel at home, which can make it simple for you to let your own Self shine through. It is wonderful to know you can be who you are – authentic, solid and true to yourself.
Feelings of inadequacy will probably always be there, even if they are in the background. It is all a part of your progress. But most people are not completely Self-led even if they appear to be most of the time.
The Internal Family Systems Model of trauma therapy offers a path to help people become more Self-led. It can make them stronger so that they are not broken or triggered as easily. It is not an easy path to take, but it is one that offers so many benefits in the healing of trauma.
The process of finding your Self is one that I want to invite you to take. I can help you begin that healing journey. Please contact me today for an appointment.
