A trauma victim can face many difficulties when trying to express everything that occurred in a traumatic event. They have to recount the trauma to numerous people that could include police, loved ones and a therapist. With every recollection of this trauma, the victim’s mind and body tries to adapt to circumstances beyond their control.
The Damage of “Protecting” Ourselves from Suffering.
After facing trauma, many people adapt certain psychological strategies they think will protect themselves from danger or suffering. Some examples of these strategies are:
- They close off to the rest of the world so they “don’t feel alive” in the here and now. This could serve as a remedy for their perceived threat of destruction. If they don’t feel alive, that threat loses its power to terrorize.
- Depression might provide a cushion against feeling disappointed and overwhelmed.
- Hypervigilance or increased state of awareness can make them stand guard over themselves by being extremely sensitive to everything around them. They feel alert to any hidden dangers, which are not real most of the time.
- Numbing and loss of interest provide protection from grief and disappointment; if there is nothing to care about, there’s nothing to grieve or be disappointed about.
- Anger pushes people away for fear of them causing harm or before the survivor develops a relationship with them, which is deemed worse.
These are all survival resources for a trauma victim. They are ways the victim feels they can be saved but there is a cost. When they disown the trauma, the anger, the need for contact with other people or any combination of those, they lose or deny key aspects of themselves. The other end of the spectrum is over-identifying with the shame, hopelessness and fear of being seen that comes from trauma. This is equally costly because they shrink their lives and become smaller than they need to.
Staying Connected to the Present
After experiencing trauma, it can be very easy to keep slipping into the time it occurred. The replay of the event can be like a movie in a victim’s mind, playing over and over. While recognizing the past is important, being present and living in the present, even if your body feels threatened, is much more crucial. A traumatized individual must remind themself of the things that are here, right now:
- What can they feel?
- What can they see?
- What can they smell?
- What can they touch?
- What can they taste?
All around them. The past can be acknowledged without lingering there. It doesn’t have to intrude into the present. Therapy no longer focuses on remembering what happened, but transforming the memories. There has to be an acceptance of the reality without having to re-experience the trauma all over again. Once this is established, then the therapist can help the victim identify and work through their survival resources.
I can help you if you have been through a traumatic event. Call my office to set up an appointment.
