Trauma victims all share the same type of experience in that the past is ever-present, regardless of what is happening now, and what will happen in the future. Many trauma victims don’t realize that they have been through a traumatic event until something triggers a flashback, and if you have ever experienced a flashback, you understand how devastating and all encompassing they can be.
In his book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk discusses flashbacks in way that clarifies what trauma victims experience when they occur. By providing details of one patient’s story, the horror of flashbacks is so evident. Perhaps you can relate to how she felt after going through a traumatic event.
Meet Nancy
Nancy was a woman who worked as a Nursing Director at a hospital, and she recalled how she felt after she underwent a tubal ligation procedure after her third child was born. She talked about feeling in a daze when she was at home after the procedure. She would go about her daily tasks, but at the same time, she felt an incredible sense of being disconnected. Nancy states that she even felt as though she wasn’t alive or wasn’t even real. She reported avoiding using anything that warmed up, such as the stove or the toaster, and when people would talk to her, she couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying. Her anxiety grew with every passing day, and her behavior got stranger as each day went by too.
Nancy slowly began to realize that she had been having a recurring dream about the operating room, and the events that took place there. Once that realization struck her, a flashback occurred. It was as though she was suddenly transported back to the operating room for her surgery, only she was aware of everything that was happening to her. During her flashback, she felt paralyzed and burned.
After that initial flashback, they happened more frequently. She began losing weight, and she often thought about dying as a way to get some relief from the internal pain she was feeling. Her marriage suffered because she came to realize that her husband represented the people who hurt her during her surgery. Over time, Nancy remembered more and more about her surgery, and it was found that her anesthesia actually didn’t work while she had the procedure. This traumatic event led to a life that was filled with dread, and Nancy felt unable to find a way to heal from it.
Making Memories
Eventually, Nancy was able to put this event behind her and create distant memories that were not constantly haunting her day in and day out, but it was only accomplished with the help of an excellent therapist. By spending time with her and creating a safe environment for her to unravel the mystery of what had happened to her, she was able to improve in every way. Of course, the traumatic even itself did not go away, but it was relocated to the proper place in her mind, in the distant past. The flashbacks that once tormented her subsided, and Nancy was able to embrace a life of peace and normality that she hadn’t experienced in years.
Maybe you’ve experienced flashbacks in your life, and you may or may not be aware of the events that led to them. You may even be realizing that you feel a bit like Nancy explained; disconnected and lost with no sense of reality. If you suspect that a traumatic event has occurred in your life, there’s no need for you to continue feeling suppressed by it. Trauma counseling can help you overcome it and move it to the past.
I can help you with that. Please contact me for an appointment.
