Far too many trauma victims enter into therapy to try and get healing while still feeling as though they are not safe to heal at all. This is due to the “blending” of the Parts that has taken place as a result of the traumatic event.
It is false to assume that traumatic events need to be processed in order for healing to take place. The unblending process is so important because it is the only way trauma victims will be able to feel truly safe.
What is Blending?
Blending is a term that was created by Dr. Richard Schwartz in 2001. It describes how trauma victims have a tendency to identify with their various Parts to the point that the Self becomes unrecognizable. Those feelings they are experiencing become extremely strong and overpowering.
For example, Holly was frequently mentally abused when she was 10 years old by her stepfather. He would often criticize her for her mistakes, which only led to her making more of them. She felt very alone and as though nothing she did was good enough.
As Holly grew up, any criticism from family, friends, or people she worked with caused those same feelings of loneliness to return. The smallest word of correction caused her to feel as though nothing she did would ever be good enough, and it stifled her emotional growth.
Traditional Trauma Therapy Vs. IFS
The problem with traditional therapy is that it views situations like Holly’s the wrong way. Today, Holly is no longer being emotionally abused by anyone. Traditional therapy would say that she is now “safe.” But the Internal Family Systems Model of therapy says that she needs unblending in order to have a “felt sense” of safety.
In her book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, Janina Fisher says, “Before trauma can be resolved, the client must learn how to unblend from parts so that the realities of both brains can be appreciated.”
Once unblended, the individual has the ability to correctly see that they are safe in their current environment. At the same time, they can also empathize with the Part’s perspective of ever-present danger, but not take on that viewpoint as their own.
How Does Unblending Occur?
Unblending takes some practice and it helps to have a therapist who is experienced in IFS. A lot of trauma victims have trouble seeing their Parts as separate from the Self.
Sometimes, when trauma victims manage to take a step back so they can pay attention to each Part individually, the Parts become so quiet that it feels like they are gone completely. The result is a distinct feeling of emptiness and numbness that is uncomfortable and unsettling.
But an IFS therapist will know how to walk clients through the right unblending process (there are many) using slow, deliberate steps. It is important for trauma victims to work at their own pace.
Trauma Therapy is Available – Start Today
Perhaps you have tried other types of trauma therapy, but never the IFS model. I would love to help you get started on the path to real healing. Please contact me for an appointment.
