Many traumatic experiences occur in childhood. It’s very common for a child to experience something when he’s young only to have it leave a lasting, traumatic effect on him for the rest of his life. These experiences can be major, such as a severe physically abusive relationship with a parent, or they can be minor, such as being laughed at in class for having the wrong answer when called upon. Still, not all traumatic experiences result in life-changing trauma.
Let’s take some time and talk about the two different types of responses during childhood trauma and discover what the causes the brain to react the way it does.
Trauma to Healing
In his book, The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. van der Kolk discusses a young boy who was in one of the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001. The boy and his family were his friends. His parents had just dropped him off at school, and when the first plane hit, his father was there to meet him and his brother in the lobby of the building. Together, the three of them fled the scene and made it out unharmed.
Ten days after the event took place, the doctor went to visit the family and talk about the event with them, and the young boy drew a picture of what had taken place, but with an interesting twist. At the bottom of the buildings, there was a trampoline, and when asked to explain it, the boy told the doctor that it was put there to help the people be safe if they had to jump again.
It was obvious that he was on his way toward healing and adjusting to the horrific event that he had seen. The doctor was puzzled because he knew that it had to have been a terrible experience for the boy, but he seemed to be coming to grips with it in his own way. He came to the conclusion that while 9/11 was an awful thing for a young boy of his age to have lived through, he had the love and support of his parents to help him through it. They took good care of his needs and they were responsive to him. As a result, he was able to utilize his imagination to process all that he had been through. He was able to heal.
Trauma to Distress
Not all children have the benefit of parents who are able to provide them with that type of understanding and care. Many of these parents don’t understand what the child needs because they weren’t provided with what they needed when they were young. Some of them are dealing with their own traumatic events, while others are struggling with addictions.
Regardless of what the reasons are, when a parent isn’t able to offer his or her child the help that’s needed, the result is often a trauma that ends in distress. This occurs because children take their cues from their parents. So, if there is a stable foundation, children are able to draw from their parents’ strength and find the peace they need to work through it. If there is not a stable foundation, it creates chaos in the mind of the child and that chaos often follows him or her through to adulthood.
Perhaps you’re reading this and you have found yourself in the later group. You have been through trauma as a child and you did not have the solid foundation you needed to heal from it. Working with a trauma therapist can help you in many ways.
Please contact me to make an appointment.
