In Canada, approximately six million people (21% of the total population), will experience addiction at some point in their lives. Despite the fact that so many are left devastated by this, it’s still so widely misunderstood, especially when it comes to sex addiction.
Urges to engage in behaviors that are difficult or even impossible to resist are a common part of trying to overcome sex addiction. While many assume that sexual addiction is about the act itself, this is very rarely the case which makes it a complex condition to treat.
While recovery will be a long, slow and challenging process, when done with the assistance of professional help and support from loved ones, it is entirely possible. One of the most important aspects of sex addiction recovery is putting the tools in place to help prevent relapse.
Below we share effective coping strategies for individuals who struggle with sex addiction.
Prepare
One of the best things you can do for yourself when trying to overcome sex addiction is to anticipate and prepare for any urges or temptations you might have. Learning how to cope with and stop this behavior before it can cause any damage is paramount.
Think about what makes it easy to give in to your addiction and remove these things from your life. For example, if you own pornographic DVDs or magazines, throw them away. If you find online websites too difficult to resist it may be worth disconnecting your account, any secret bank or credit cards you have should be destroyed and avoid people who encourage or enable your sexual exploits.
Identifying your triggers early on is key to coping with sex addiction because it will enable you to stop problematic behaviors before you act on them. If you are feeling tempted, try some of the tactics we go into more detail about below such as speaking to a counsellor, opening up to a loved one or distracting yourself with a hobby.
Seek professional help
An addiction of any kind is incredibly difficult to overcome and you’re unlikely to do it without professional help. Sex addictions are more than just an overwhelming desire to have sex, they are the outcome of a set of events which have triggered this behavior. Until you have identified what has driven you to sexual addiction, you are unlikely to overcome it.
What’s more, there are certain psychological and social factors which can be powerful triggers for relapse. This may include stress, big life events, environmental factors such as seeing an old acquaintance you associate with your old life and spending time with people who continue to engage in the behaviors you’re trying to stop. Sex addiction counselling will help you to establish the people and environments you should be avoiding and how to cope if you are subjected to them.
Another very important reason for seeking professional help is that once you’ve established the root cause of your thoughts and behaviors, you will learn how to face the issue so you can conquer it. Say for example you experienced trauma in your childhood, it’s not until you have addressed this and dealt with it that you stand a chance of overcoming your problems.
If your demons continue to plague you, there’s every possibility that you will relapse back to your destructive behaviors because you’re using them as a coping mechanism. Sex addiction recovery can be very effective with helping you to identify this.
Enlist the help of a friend
As well as having the support of a professional therapist, it’s also crucial to have at least one friend, family member or colleague that you can trust and confide in. This person can be your shoulder to cry on, your support network and the person you turn to during moments of weakness.
Social support can be an incredibly powerful tool when it comes to helping you cope with sexual addiction. There are a number of reasons for this including:
- It provides you with a sense of belonging and inclusion
- The support of others can help you feel safe and secure
- Sharing your problems with others makes them feel less overwhelming
- It can help to reduce stress, isolation and loneliness
- It can provide you with an enhances sense of meaning and purpose
- It helps your loved ones to understand what you’re going through which means they can support you better
Group therapy
Many people suffering with sex addiction find it difficult to talk about their condition to others because they feel ashamed and/or embarrassed by it. Even when they do open up to a therapist or friend, they may not be entirely honest about the extent of their behavior because they’re worried about being judged.
Attending group therapy is an excellent coping strategy because you’re surrounded by people who know exactly what you’re going through. As well as understanding why you’ve done the things you have, speaking to others who are further into their recovery than you, can help you to collect some valuable tips and advice for coping.
Studies have highlighted the advantages of using groups in addiction treatment and include:
- It elicits a commitment to attend because failing to do so could disappoint other members of the group
- Provides positive peer support and pressure to abstain
- Reduces the sense of isolation that many people facing addiction feel
- For some people, the formal and deliberate nature of participation in group therapy increases their feelings of security. This can therefore enhance their ability to share openly
- Witnessing the recovery of others gives you hope for your own journey
- Groups can provide useful tips and information to those who are new to recovery and are trying to learn how to cope with sex addiction
- Provides the opportunity to practice healthy ways of engaging with others
- Offers a family-like experience which members might not be able to get at home
- Groups encourage members to tackle tasks they might otherwise shy away from because they’re difficult
- It gives you the opportunity to learn or relearn the social skills you need to cope with everyday life instead of turning to destructive behaviors
Find a hobby
While recovering from sexual addiction, it’s a good idea to keep yourself busy both physically and mentally. A hobby not only ensures you stay busy, it can also help you to form new, healthy relationships with people who have nothing to do with your past. Having something to focus on also gives you a purpose and a reason not to relapse. Say for example you sign up to run a half marathon, the thought of completing this and achieving something can help to stop you giving into temptation.
Other benefits of hobbies in addiction recovery include:
- Having something enjoyable in your life gives you a sense of purpose
- It gives you something to talk about with friends and family which can help when it comes to rebuilding relationships
- Hobbies are a great way to relieve stress
- Some hobbies can turn into new career opportunities if you discover you’re really good at something
- One of the biggest causes of relapse is boredom. You can avoid this by keeping busy with a hobby
If you think that you or someone you know may need sex addiction counselling, please feel free to contact Toronto Trauma and Addiction Counselling in the strictest of confidence. We offer a number of effective recovery therapies so we can ensure we tailor treatment to individual journey.
You can also complete our confidential Sexual Addiction Screening Test to assess whether you qualify for sexual addiction therapy.
