As we discussed in our previous post about sex addiction, (‘Why therapy is important in treating sex addiction’), this is a condition that until recently we knew very little about.
What we do know for certain is that sex addiction is a growing problem and the more awareness we raise about it, the more likely people are to get help for it. How do you know when you or someone you know has a genuine problem or when someone is simply using it as an excuse for their actions?
Below are five questions you can ask yourself to help determine whether or not you have a problem that requires professional treatment.
1) Do you have excessive behaviours in any of the following?
Normal, healthy habits can turn into sex addiction when any of the following behaviours are done to excess and significantly begin to impact your life in a negative way:
Pornography
Prostitution
Masturbation
Fantasy
Sadistic or masochistic behaviour
Exhibition/voyeurism
Multiple sexual partners
It is important to note that these behaviours themselves are not what constitutes sex addiction. It’s the fact that they have reached a point where they are causing significant impairment in your life and you still cannot stop.
2) Are your relationships suffering?
Sadly, one of the most common consequences of sex addiction is that personal and professional relationships suffer.
Nobody wants to hurt the people we love the most but unfortunately, partners of a sex addict are often the ones to experience the most anguish. Hurtful behaviours such as lying and cheating all too often break down marriages and relationships as the other person is left feeling helpless, alienated, isolated, angry, humiliated and even depressed. While it is not always the case, many partners of sex addicts develop full blown PTSD.
It can be hard to stay focussed at work when your thoughts are preoccupied and as a result your motivation, performance and attendance may gradually decline. This could lead to strained relationships with your manager and even losing your job.
3) Are you displaying the emotional symptoms of sex addiction?
If you have a sex addiction then chances are that you don’t have healthy boundaries. For example, a married person would not normally visit a prostitute but a married person with a sex addiction very well may do so. If you are repeatedly carrying out wrong and hurtful acts even though you feel shame because of it, you could have an addiction.
Sex addicts are far more likely to get involved with people sexually or emotionally regardless of how well they know them. Most addicts fear being abandoned and therefore may stay in relationships that aren’t healthy or find they jump from relationship to relationship. When alone, they may also feel empty or incomplete and may even sexualize feelings such as guilt, loneliness and fear.
4) Are you displaying the physical symptoms of sex addiction?
Although there are few physical symptoms of sex addiction, it often leads to further health issues including:
According to Departmental Management of the USDA, approximately 38% of men and 45% of women with sex addictions have a venereal disease as a result of their behaviour
Nearly 70% of women have experienced unwanted pregnancy
Sexual dysfunction
Sexually transmitted diseases
Anxiety and depression
Substance abuse
5) Have you carried out a Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST)?
If your answers to the above questions have raised concerns, please feel free to complete our SAST. This has been designed to assist in the assessment of compulsive and addictive behaviours and will help to determine whether or not your actions are addictive or non-addictive.
The test is free, confidential and will tell you immediately whether or not your answers reveal a score that would indicate a need for sex addiction therapy.
For more information about sex addiction, the symptoms and treatments that are available, please feel free to visit our New Beginnings Treatment Program page. Alternatively, you can contact us in the strictest of confidence for more details about counselling for sexual addiction.
