It’s remarkable how many people exhibit behaviors that they can’t fully understand. Sometimes these individuals don’t have any idea that there is anything wrong with their negative behaviors, and they continue that way until something triggers a traumatic experience that brings it all into the light.
In his book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk discusses these suppressed experiences in a way that brings clarification and understanding to the question of why people suppress certain painful memories.
He describes a patient of his, who was a military policeman at an air force base. As an adult, this patient was strong, and he was used to being in charge and commanding attention. He had no idea that dark memories were lurking in his subconscious mind until the mention of one man’s name brought them all flooding back to him. Once that occurred, memories of sexual abuse at a very young age were brought to the forefront of his mind. As he remembered, he thought about all of the behaviors he had participated in as he grew up. The drugs he did and the girls he manipulated while he was in high school proved that he had been suppressing these memories for a very long time. As his conscious mind processed the memories, he began exhibiting bouts of rage, panic attacks and seizures, and he needed to get an administrative discharge from the air force only ten days before he was eligible to receive full benefits.
In his case, these suppressed experiences came very close to ruining his life.
Memories vs. Traumatic Experiences
Understanding the difference between normal memories and traumatic experiences is so important. Once you understand it, you can see why the brain responds the way it does.
Normal memories don’t make much of an impact on the brain. In fact, you may have trouble from time to time even remembering what you did the day before if the day was somewhat monotonous. However, once something big happens (be it good or bad), your adrenaline starts pumping and those experiences are adequately etched in your mind. However, in the face of trauma, the adrenal system is overworked, and the process of etching those traumatic experiences shuts down. For many people, these traumatic experiences are filed away, deep in the back of your mind where they’re not readily accessible. Only when they are triggered, you respond, and they may not be triggered for months, years, or even decades.
Getting Help for Trauma
It’s important to understand that if something doesn’t feel quite right to you – whether it’s mysterious behaviors that you don’t understand, or just a sense within you that something is wrong – you don’t have to wait until something triggers those terrible events. In Dr. van der Kolk’s patient’s case, his trauma overcame him at a crucial point in his life, whereas if he had suspicious earlier on in his life, he may have been able to receive treatment much sooner. The right trauma therapist can help you uncover any traumatic events or experiences that might be lurking in the back of your mind so that you can begin to heal from them.
If you’d like to talk with someone about the traumatic events in your past so that you can begin healing, I can help you. Please contact me for an appointment.
