An addict causes a tremendous amount of damage to himself because of his addiction. Often overlooked though are the effects that an addict has on his or her family, friends, and loved ones. An addiction can destroy relationships, break families apart, and cause a great deal of pain to everyone involved.
The first step to dealing with an addiction is recognizing that the problem exists. Many people who suffer from addiction are very good at hiding it from the people around them. This can make it very difficult to identify. However, there are a few warning signs that can tip you off to the fact that someone close to you has a problem.
Warning Signs of Addiction
Missing work, school, or important social events. People who suffer from addiction will do anything they can to use or act out and neglect many of their day to day responsibilities. Addiction also causes addicts to become more and more isolated and they may wish to miss events, social functions, and time with family, even if that time is not needed to act out or use.
Erratic behavior or mood swings. Addicts may become irritable, angry, or frustrated, either as a result of their using or because they have not been using for some time.
Financial difficulties. One of the big consequences of an addiction is that an addict will spend all of their money on getting their next fix. An addict may constantly ask to borrow money, sell their valuables, or steal. Checks missing from the middle of the checkbook or electronics or jewelry which suddenly disappeared from the home may all signal that someone is stealing in order to maintain their addiction. Until the addict is in treatment, he or she will do anything and everything that they can in order to have money to support their addiction. Over time, they become more and more tolerant of their substance or behavior and they need to increase their activities which results in increased spending.
Secretive behavior. Addicts are usually well aware that the people close to them would be disappointed or worried about their behavior. Therefore, they begin to conduct very secret lives as an attempt to keep people in the dark about their addiction. Not allowing partners to look at their cell phone or emails, being oddly protective about certain areas around the house (in which they keep their stash of alcohol, drugs, porn) are just a few examples of secretive behavior which may signify a problem.
What You Can Do
Dealing with an addiction is difficult for both the addict and the people close to them. It can be emotionally draining, stressful, and heartbreaking for everyone involved. The best thing to do if you suspect that a friend, loved one, or family member is struggling with an addiction is to offer support. Despite how upset and hurt you are, do not yell and scream. You will get nowhere. Let the person know that you are concerned about some of their behaviors and that you understand that they are going through a difficult time. You can offer suggestions for treatment, but you will not be able to force them to go. You can offer to make the initial call to an addiction specialist or a treatment center, but ultimately it will need to be the addict that makes the decision whether or not to go. Do not lend money to an addict or try to help them cover up their problem. If they do not want to quit, do not blame yourself. If you are unsure as to how to best proceed, consult with an expert who can help guide you in this difficult but important process. It is very important that you do not do things which enable the addict to continue his or her destructive behaviors. Balancing this with the need to provide support can be confusing. Ask your therapist for help.
Equally important is to remember to take care of yourself. You need to seek support and guidance from an expert as well as from others that are in similar situations. There are a variety of Al-Anon groups available (depending on the specific nature of the addiction) for friends and families of addicts. Dealing with an addiction is not easy, but with the right tools and support, you can help your loved ones get back on track.
