You may find it odd that it’s possible to have a relationship with yourself internally. But the reality is that we all have relationships with our thoughts or emotions. It is completely unavoidable because they’re with us all the time. Whether we like it or not, we have to relate to them in some way.
But it’s not just that we have to relate to them; we also interact with them, and the way we do that makes a difference in our mental state.
Exploring Your Relationship With Your Internal Dialogue
How do you feel about your thoughts and emotions? A lot of people with trauma issues find that they have a love/hate relationship with them. One moment that internal dialogue may be providing guidance and affirmation. But the next moment it turns into something oppressive and almost hostile.
It’s normal to have complex relationships with your internal dialogue. These relationships are very similar with those that we have with other people. But a balance is capable of achieving. For trauma victims, there is often no balance because the negative thoughts become overwhelming and avoidance takes place.
A trauma victim will often commit their lives to avoiding any thought related to their trauma because of the negative emotions involved. In his book, Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model, Dr. Richard Schwartz uses the loss of a loved one as an example. The death of someone you love can be very traumatizing, and because of that, the emotions surrounding the event overwhelm you. In response, you do everything in your power to avoid any thoughts of that loved one.
But when you are faced with having to think about them, your internal dialogue becomes demanding. It tells you that you should be over it by now and there must be something wrong with you because you’re not.
Healing Those Internal Relationships
The trap that many trauma victims find themselves in is that they believe there is no escape from those negative thoughts and emotions. Their inner relationships are dysfunctional and they feel stuck in them. But there are ways to change the way that you relate to them, and doing so is beneficial because of the impact it has on your external relationships as well.
Therapy can help trauma victims move away feeling hatred and fear. It can provide people with the strength they need to stop ignoring those thoughts and emotions. Instead, it helps them listen to them, and this is so important. By listening to them instead of wishing them away, people become compassionate toward them. It results in an entire mindset shift.
Trauma Therapy Can Help
It may seem impossible now, but there is so much that you can learn from your internal dialogue. The way that you think and the emotions that result from those thoughts has a lot to teach you as you heal from trauma. But this is not something that should be undertaken on its own.
I’ve worked with many trauma victims whose internal relationships needed to heal. I can provide you with the guidance and support you need. Please contact me for an appointment.
