It’s very common for people who have suffered through a traumatic event to find themselves at a loss for words when it comes to articulating that event. Speaking about it makes it seem all the more real, and every time it’s brought to mind, it’s like living it all over again. As a result, they tend to remain quiet and subdued, for fear that the events of the past will rear their ugly heads once more.
Not to mention that it’s almost impossible to put a traumatic event into words, and this is true whether you have PTSD or not. In his book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk talks about the events of 9/11, and how those events changed the course of an entire generation; but particularly those who survived the attacks. He says that initially, the events of that day could not be condensed into stories, but they were vivid images in the minds of those who survived. Images of people jumping from buildings, and images of people running down the street with their faces and bodies covered with ash from the collapse of the Twin Towers. For most people, that is how traumas are experienced, and then relived. They feel powerless against them, and completely unable to put these images into story format. As a result, they remain imprisoned to them.
Silence Leads to Death
The longer a trauma victim is silent, the more the soul dies. It doesn’t happen all at once, but little by little, that silence erodes at the individual until it seems as though he or she is only a shadow of the person who once was. In most cases, it feels safer to stay silent. It makes you feel as though you’re in control. Unfortunately, that silence is what causes you to spiral out of control. Silence only serves to reinforce the isolation of trauma, and that is where most people prefer to stay, only because they don’t realize that there is a way out.
The Power of Naming
Putting a name to the traumatic event that occurred in your life gives you much more control than remaining silent about it. For example, if you’re able to say things like:
- I was raped by my best friend
- My husband hit me regularly during our marriage
- My parents used to abuse me, but they called it discipline
- I’m a victim of incest
Saying these statements out loud is the very moment when healing can begin.
The difficult part is finding a time and place to be able to talk about them and feel safe doing so. Opening up can be scary when you’re doing it for the first time. For that reason, finding a professional who will listen to you in a non-judgmental way can be incredibly beneficial, and it will allow you to learn how to name your trauma so that it no longer affects you in the negative ways it always has.
If you’ve been through a traumatic event, you don’t have to continue to suffer alone, in silence. Silence is the enemy, and I can offer you a safe place to talk about all that you’ve been through so that the healing process can begin. If you’d like to learn more, please contact me.
