A common question clients and their loved ones ask is ‘what causes sex addiction?’ While there’s no one single cause for this, there are a number of contributing factors we see in almost all cases.
More often than not, clients will have previously suffered from one or more of the following:
- Mental illness
- Other addictions such as alcoholism, compulsive gambling and/or drug addiction
- Genetic predisposition – addiction often runs in families
- Trauma
In this blog, we’ll be focusing on the link between sex addiction and trauma. If you have a question about anything we’ve discussed or would like information about sex rehab for yourself or someone else, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with Toronto Trauma and Addiction Counselling.
Sex Addiction as a Response to Trauma
The most common link we see in clients with a diagnosis of sex addiction is traumatic childhood experiences. This is particularly the case with attachment-related trauma because this can continue to impair an individual’s ability to form healthy interpersonal relationships later on in life.
Attachment-related trauma can include:
- Physical, sexual or emotional abuse inflicted by a parent or carer
- Neglect which often leaves children feeling unworthy of affection, attention or love
- In some cases, it can even include parental enmeshment which is when parents derive all of their happiness and self-worth from their children and their achievements
While abuse and neglect are very different parenting styles compared to enmeshment, they can both lead to unhealthy attachment styles which can contribute to sexual addiction.
Although childhood trauma is the most common, there are a number of other events which can trigger sexual compulsivity including:
- Sexual or physical assault or abuse at any age
- Divorce
- Losing a job
- Bereavement
- Serious accidents, illnesses or medical procedures
- Emotional or psychological trauma
- Witnessing violence
- Bullying
- Natural or manmade disasters
Why can trauma lead to sex addiction?
It’s important to note that trauma doesn’t always lead to addiction. Not everybody who suffers trauma becomes addicted to something and not everybody with addiction has suffered trauma.
There are a number of reasons why the two are so commonly seen together, however.
Our brain is significantly impacted by our experiences, especially those we’re exposed to in our early years. This means that any negative encounters can impede or otherwise alter the brain’s development.
A number of studies have found that being mistreated during childhood can cause frequent and extremely high levels of stress which can impede normal brain development. Continuous stress from frequent mistreatment can initiate physiological stress responses which over time, causes structural disruptions which make us vulnerable to addiction.
As well as being more susceptible to addiction issues, trauma victims may try to recreate the sexual events which have traumatized them. By putting themselves in a position of authority, this may help them to feel a sense of control in a situation they once had no control over.
If trauma isn’t dealt with properly, it’s very common for those who have suffered to get into a cycle of destructive behaviors. It’s often emotional discomfort such as fear, shame or anger which triggers the cycle as the victim seeks to remove themselves from their emotions. The aim is to numb any negative feelings and instead seek out activities which give pleasure – even if it’s only temporary. This may be watching pornography or seeking repeated sexual conquests.
It’s for this reason that we often see clients with an addiction to more than one thing. In a bid to block out traumatic childhood memories, someone may, for example, turn to alcohol because when they’re so drunk they can’t think about anything else.
Early childhood trauma will also likely result in feelings of not being good enough, unlovable, unsafe, etc. Although this idea requires a much more in-depth discussion, suffice it to say that various sexual addictive behaviors, serve to “fix”, “attend” to those difficulties.
Exposure to early trauma is part of the reason why recovery from sexual disorders is often a long and difficult process. As well as trying to break free from the cycle of compulsive behaviors, clients need to address the underlying issues which have contributed to their addiction.
Confronting a painful past can, of course, be very emotional and overwhelming so it will take time to overcome. With the right treatment, however, many people go on to live happy lives and have healthy intimate relationships.
If you would like to discuss sex addiction treatment options, please get in touch and we’ll be more than happy to help.
