Every single person on this planet has a Self, and they also have Parts. The issue with trauma victims is that their Parts have – for lack of a better term – taken them hostage. This is done in self-preservation, but it is not something that cannot be overcome by learning how to listen and respond to them appropriately.
In order to do that the Self must first be allowed to come to the forefront. Once that has occurred, tremendous healing can take place, but it is a process.
The Interference of the Parts
For trauma victims, their Parts have a way of interfering with their normal, day-to-day functioning. People experience their Parts in different ways, such as:
- Getting berated by them.
- Causing fear.
- Isolating behaviors.
- Causing depression.
The Parts can cause incredible destruction in the lives of trauma victims when they have not been given the chance to be heard so they can heal. The most natural impulse in the world is to fight against them, but doing so only appears to make the trauma victim feel even worse.
In his book, Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model, Dr. Richard C. Schwartz says, “As difficult as this may be to believe, even the most diabolical of them is a good part forced into a bad role.” He goes on to say that he has met some really bad Parts – racist, murderous Parts – but he found that when they are approached with a nonjudgmental curiosity, they are quick to discuss their reasons for their actions. They are also very shameful about what they have done and the destruction they caused.
The Self and the Parts are Set Free
When the Parts feel heard and understood, they no longer feel the need to be in control. Instead, they surrender that control to the Self, who can then take charge of his or her life. With the Self in control, trauma victims are able to see their lives through a different lens. They realize things like:
- Their fear-based decisions have brought them to marriages, careers and lifestyles that aren’t healthy for them.
- They have the ability to live in the moment and appreciate their lives for what they are.
- They can resurrect the things in their lives that they were once passionate about, but that they thought were gone forever.
- They spend time volunteering, find new relationships or become more creative.
- They can remove things or people from their lives that they only added to help protect them, reduce their pain or serve as a distraction.
Many clients learn that once they listen to what their Parts are saying, they can move forward and finally embrace the lives they have. They see new beauty in their marriages, families, careers and other activities.
Trauma Therapy Can Help
Having someone guide you and direct you as you get in touch with your Parts is invaluable. As a trauma therapist, I can help you with that process. Please contact me for an appointment.
