It’s often very difficult for family members to address the fact that their loved one has a drug addiction. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration does however stress the importance of family involvement in addiction recovery.
- People are more likely to seek help if they know they have the support of their family
- The more involved they are, the more loved ones are able to understand what the person with the addiction is going through
- Dysfunction in the household is a major trigger for relapse. Improving the state of the family system is therefore crucial to long-term success
- Family members often need help understanding the nature of addiction and addressing the effects of the addiction in their own lives can help them to fully and appropriately support their loved one
If you’re supporting a family member through addiction, below we have highlighted the role you can play during this difficult time.
Help the person to recognize they have a problem
The first and most important step of beating an addiction is for the sufferer to recognize they have a problem and they need help. The best case scenario is that the person with the addiction has come to this realization themselves. If not however, most patients do end up seeking drug addiction therapy as a direct result of positive family involvement and intervention.
Approaching someone with an addiction should be a gentle and supportive process. Every family is different and the way to handle the situation will differ from person-to-person. Enlisting a therapist to help with an intervention can be very helpful because they will have dealt with this situation many times before and will therefore be able to advise you how to get the approach right.
Putting an end to enabling behaviors
Enabling behaviors are those which directly or indirectly support substance abuse. It’s very common for families and especially partners to carry out these behaviors without even realizing it or because they’re scared of pushing the other person away.
While you are going to have to be understanding at this time, don’t let the other person get away with things they shouldn’t be doing – try and draw a line between supportive and enabling behavior.
Enabling behaviors include:
- Using drugs with your loved one so that you can keep an eye on things, keep your loved one out of trouble, or make sure they get home safely
- Keeping your feelings to yourself so you don’t upset or anger your loved one
- Accepting your loved one’s justifications for their substance abuse
- Minimizing the situation (telling yourself it isn’t as bad as it could be)
- Protecting your loved one’s image – or your own – by minimizing the negative consequences of the addiction. You may make excuses for their behavior, bailing them out of jail or take care of their responsibilities when they fail to do so
Dealing with codependency
Codependency occurs when people develop unhealthy behaviors as a result of trying to adapt to increasing dysfunction within the family system. If you’re codependent, you’re likely to be so concerned with your loved one’s problems that you neglect your own needs.
Codependent behaviors include:
- Worrying obsessively about your loved one’s substance abuse
- Avoiding contact with people outside the immediate family because you don’t want to have to make excuses or talk about the addiction
- Neglecting your physical and emotional needs in favor of focusing solely on your loved one and their addiction
- Low self-esteem resulting from putting all your focus on your loved one
- Misplaced anger at your loved one that ends up aimed at others
- Engaging in compulsive behaviors that are unhealthy but help you cope with the addiction, such as eating or shopping
- Basing your mood on your loved one’s mood. If they’re happy, you are too but if they’re not, it can ruin your day
Attending therapy sessions
Individual therapy will be an integral part of recovery for the person suffering with the addiction but it can also be hugely beneficial for families. It can significantly help the family to understand what the person with the addiction is going through, how they can develop coping mechanisms for themselves and crucially, learn about what can be expected from every stage of recovery.
For more information about drug addiction counselling in Toronto, please feel free to contact us in the strictest of confidence and we will be more than happy to help.
