When you think of a typical person with sex addiction, chances are that you imagine of a man.
While men have become the face of this condition, many women live with sex addiction and often experience great difficulty with it. After all, they face the double challenge of being the invisible sufferers of an often misunderstood and unrecognized problem.
Females’ experiences with sexually compulsive behaviour rarely receive the same attention that men’s do. Often when people research, report on or write about sexual addiction, female with sex addiction are overlooked or ignored.
While there are likely many reasons for this, it is largely due to myths that we hold in our culture about women and sex addiction. For this reason, people often wrongly assume that women don’t suffer from it. Below we dispel three common myths about women and sex addiction.
Females don’t get addicted to sex
Not only is this a myth, it makes women feel all the more isolated when they do suffer from it and unsurprisingly, it often stops them from seeking sex addiction treatment.
Female sexuality is already widely stigmatized which makes it very difficult for women to come forward about this type of addiction. Men who engage in frequent sexual activity are congratulated for their actions but women who do the same are ridiculed for it.
As a result, many women feel the combined shame of addiction and of engaging in significant quantities of sexual activity. They may feel guilty or weak because their sexual activity has developed into an illness and they are also likely to worry what people might think of them.
These factors almost definitely play a role in why women are much less likely than men to seek treatment when they suffer from sex addiction. It certainly doesn’t mean that they don’t suffer from it however.
The motivation for females who act-out is neediness
Again this is based on cultural stereotypes of women. For most women who are addicted to sex, the primary motivation is power – the power to overcome trauma such as sexual or emotional abuse. It may also be used to try to combat the effects of emotional neglect.
Multiple studies have shown that women score highly on measures of fantasy sex, seductive role sex, trading sex and pain exchange. Unlike men, women who are addicted to sex do not seem to be following an intensified trend already existing in the general culture. In fact, by acting out sexually, they appear to be reacting against culturally prescribed norms.
Male or female, sex addiction starts the same way that any other addiction does – it’s used as an escape mechanism from other unidentified or unresolved issues. For many people, addiction is triggered by an event such as the death of a loved one, divorce or losing their job.
Studies have in fact shown that approximately 80% of people who have sexual addiction have suffered from some kind of sexual abuse or emotional trauma. They may therefore actively seek out sexually charged situations and it’s unlikely that they will be able to stop this behavior until they seek help from a sex addiction therapist.
The life consequences of a sex addiction are the same for men as for women
Many of the consequences of sex addiction are the same for women as they are for men. For example, they’re equally as likely to lose relationships or their job. Women do however often face additional consequences such as abortion because of unplanned pregnancy, unique societal stigma and shame felt by their male partner.
If you think that you or someone you know could be showing sex addiction signs and may need sex addiction treatment, please feel free to contact Toronto Trauma and Addiction Counselling in the strictest of confidence and we will be more than happy to help.
