No matter how we try to avoid it, we must have some type of relationship with our thoughts and emotions. They are a part of who we are, and they are always with us, day in and day out. We have no choice but to relate to them in one way or another. Sometimes that means embracing them, and other times it means running away from them. But either way, they are still there.
People who have been traumatized tend to run as far away from their thoughts and emotions as they possibly can. But the problem with that is that the result is that we only feel worse in the long-term.
By intentionally trying to understand thoughts and emotions, trauma victims can work through them; even those that are negative.
Avoiding Our Thoughts and Emotions Only Adds to the Turmoil
In his book, Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model, Richard Schwartz discusses how people relate to difficult thoughts or emotions. He points out that for most, their methods only make their problems that much worse.
He uses the analogy of a parent’s relationship with a child who is out of control. The child represents the parent’s anger, and in his illustration, the child has a habit of throwing tantrums each night. The parent is driven crazy by the child’s constant, bad behavior, so they retaliate by locking the child in his room.
The parent has to stay at home all the time to make sure the child is still there. Of course, the parent starts to feel like a failure because the child’s behavior. But every reaction the child receives only makes the situation worse.
Over time, the parent’s life is a shell of what it once was. The entire situation becomes too frustrating for them to handle and they end up being miserable.
The War Within Ourselves
Trauma victims live their lives at war within themselves. Some of our thoughts and emotions are helpful, but many of them represent issues that we have never come to terms with. As a way to avoid having to deal with them, it’s no wonder that people turn to alcohol, drugs or other activities. Anything works as long as it drowns them out.
When we are at war within ourselves, that war often gets played out in our relationships. Whether that impacts the way we argue with our significant others, or it affects our relationships with our co-workers, not dealing with difficult thoughts and emotions takes a toll on us in more ways than one.
Trauma Recovery is Possible
For trauma victims, recovering can seem impossible. But I want you to know that it is possible to heal with the right support. I can provide you with the help you need and together, we can work through all of those thoughts and emotions that are so difficult for you to deal with.
You are not alone. Please contact me today to make an appointment.
