Managers are the protective Parts. It is their job to take care of our everyday safety needs. A lot of people experience Managers as the voices they hear, and eventually, come to think of as themselves. Trauma victims typically come to rely on Managers to help them form their opinions and judgments, but at the same time, they feel annoyed by them too.
Managers have the desire to be in control so they can protect the other Parts from being humiliated, rejected, abandoned, and hurt in any way. Theirs is a “never again” philosophy in the sense that their goal is to never again allow that type of pain.
The Qualities of Managers
People who have been through traumatic events frequently wear masks to hide their vulnerability. It is the Managers’ job to check those masks for cracks. They interpret the world the victim lives in and dictate the way they conduct themselves. Every trauma victim has a “story” about themselves and it is up to Managers to reinforce that story.
Some examples of the stories Managers create include:
- “I’m a strong person.”
- “I work hard.”
- “I’m always nice.”
Strong people tend to exile the Parts that are weak. Hard-working people tend to exile the Parts that they deem to be lazy. Nice people tend to exile the Parts that are angry or mean. That is the job of the Manager Parts.
The Protection of Managers
Managers do what needs to be done to protect the Exiles (those Parts that are more vulnerable). But at the same time, they carry a lot of disdain for them because they are so weak. Managers blame the Exiles for the hurt that has been experienced and they are in fear of being in pain.
Trauma victims often feel on guard against triggers and they look for ways to avoid them. That is the work of Manager Parts.
Types of Managers
There are several different types of Manager Parts, and they are:
- Critics – Critics are focused on obtaining social approval.
- Pessimists – Pessimists often appear as depression.
- Caregivers – Caregivers take responsibility for ensuring the well-being of others, even putting it above the person’s own well-being.
- Victims – Victims demand apologies and compensation for others because of the wrongs that have been done to them.
- Self-Imitating Parts – Self-imitating Parts do just what their name suggests; they try to imitate the Self. This can be a hard type to decipher, but it typically is not open-hearted and it has an agenda, which sets it apart from the Self.
There are other Manager types as well, and they can also feel constraining. Trauma victims often develop love/hate relationships with them, which is completely normal. The good news is that they can be related to, heard, understood, and empathized with.
Therapy for Trauma
The right trauma therapy can serve as a guide to trauma victims to help them learn how to understand their Managers’ roles, thoughts, and emotions. This is an important part of the healing process.
If you would like to learn more, please contact me to make an appointment.
