Internet sex addiction, also known as cybersex addiction, is an addiction characterized by virtual Internet sexual activity. It may consist of viewing online pornography, participating in adult fantasy chat rooms, embarking in cybersex relationships or using webcams.
Internet sex addiction is a compulsive behavior and it therefore means that anyone suffering from it is / will become obsessed with it and won’t be able to stop – despite the negative consequences it’s having on their lives.
Why is Internet sex addiction becoming more common?
As with any addiction, exactly what causes online sexual compulsivity is difficult to pinpoint. The ACE Model of Cybersexual Addiction does suggest however that the Internet creates a culture that enables, encourages and validates sexually deviant behavior.
Because online interactions can be completely anonymous, it increases the likelihood of engaging in behaviors and activities that people wouldn’t normally dream of doing. Conventional messages about sex are eliminated and this allows users to play out hidden or repressed sexual fantasies in a private lab. Here, they don’t have the fear of getting caught, embarrassing themselves or jeopardizing their relationship.
The anonymity of the Internet also provides users with a greater sense of perceived control over their sexual experiences. In a real-life situation for example, if a woman isn’t satisfied with her lover, she’s unlikely to just tell him to go away. Online however, she can quickly log off and the interaction is over.
Similarly, when using the Internet, a man can log off as soon as the interaction is over and doesn’t have to worry about any further commitment. If people are intrigued by same-sex experiences they may also be drawn to experimenting anonymously or if they want to try something more daring but are scared to broach it with their partner, again, they may be drawn to cybersex.
The convenience of cyberporn and sexually-orientated chat rooms also makes it all the more alluring. Adult chat sites provide a forum that’s available immediately and at any time which makes it easy to fall into compulsive patterns of use.
The ease of availability serves to promote sexual experimentation amongst those who normally would not engage in such behavior. The most vulnerable individuals seem to be those who suffer from low self-esteem, a severely distorted body image, untreated sexual dysfunction or a prior sexual addiction. Any of these things may stop a person from engaging in real-life sexual experiences and turn to the Internet instead.
Studies have suggested that although sexual stimulation may initially be the main reason why most people engage in cybersex, over time, this may no longer be the case. If a person experiences a ‘high’ that provides an emotional or mental escape or an altered sense of reality, this not only provides sexual fulfillment, but allows a subjective mental escape where this person can adopt a new identity. For example, a woman may be lonely in her everyday life whereas online she is desired by lots of men. This not only satisfies a sexual desire but an emotional one too.
Internet sexual addiction signs
- You regularly spend a significant amount of time in chat rooms and messaging people with the sole purpose of finding cybersex.
- You’re preoccupied with using the Internet to find online sexual partners.
- You frequently use anonymous communication to engage in sexual fantasies which you typically wouldn’t carry out in real life.
- You hide your online interactions from your partner.
- You feel guilt or shame about what you’re doing online.
- If you prefer cybersex as a primary form of sexual gratification to sex with your real-life partner this could be a sign that you need Internet sex addiction treatment.
If you think that you or someone you know may need sex addiction therapy, please feel free to contact Toronto Trauma & Addiction Counselling in the strictest of confidence and we will be more than happy to advise about the Internet sex addiction treatment we offer.
