Whether you suspect that you may have been through a traumatic event that you just can’t remember, or you’re someone who fully remembers a traumatic event, and you frequently have flashbacks, the thought of talking to someone about it might be a bit overwhelming for you. It can be hard to think about sitting down with someone you don’t know and either trusting that person to help you discover an event that’s buried in your subconscious, or trusting that person to help you work through something you do remember. It’s OK if you’re not quite ready to work with a trauma therapist yet, but that certainly doesn’t mean that you’ll never be ready. It also doesn’t mean that you can’t do something to help yourself become ready.
When you’ve suffered through a traumatic event, it can be so easy to become stuck. Flashbacks can cause you to feel that way; especially when you’re not sure how to move past them. However, there is one exercise that you can participate in right now that can help you; and you can do this completely on your own.
What is Writing to Yourself?
In his book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk talks about the act of writing to yourself as a way to start accessing your inner feelings. He explains how he has guided many of his patients to this technique; especially when they weren’t quite ready to talk with him – a complete stranger – about all that they’ve been through.
When you write to yourself, you’re actually sitting down with either a pen and paper or your computer, and you’re just allowing yourself to pour out whatever is in your heart and mind. There is no fear of judgment about what you’re going to write because the information is for you, and you alone. Dr. Van der Kolk notes that people who do this exercise for other reasons (such as when they write an angry letter to a friend who betrayed them, but never send it), almost always feel better afterwards because they’ve gotten their feelings out on paper.
How Writing to Yourself Facilitates Healing
The healing that comes from writing to yourself occurs in a few different ways. The first way is by allowing your feelings to take over and express themselves. Our society expects us to operate a certain way, and maintain a sense of composure, and that can be difficult when it goes against what we feel. As you write, you’re allowing your feelings to have full reign on the paper, and things may come out that you didn’t even know where there.
The second way that healing can take place is by reading what you’ve written later on. You may discover all kinds of truths about yourself that you never knew before. You may even uncover hidden trauma that you thought might have been lurking in the background, but you didn’t remember it fully.
Finally, once you’ve participated in this exercise, you can present this information to a trauma therapist when you’re ready. This is incredibly helpful if you’re not really ready to talk about what you’re feeling, but you need a way to communicate it to someone who is trained on how to help you. Writing to yourself allows you to express everything that’s inside of you, and it can be so useful as you seek to recover from trauma.
Maybe you’ve been through a traumatic event, or you think you may have, and you need help and guidance so that you can begin the healing process. If that’s the case, I am available to talk with you. Please contact me for an appointment.
