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Thanks to the social stigmas and complex nature of sexual addiction, it’s something that sufferers and their loved ones often struggle to understand. There are a lot of unhelpful misconceptions about the condition which often stops people from coming forward and seeking help.

Below we explain exactly what sexual addiction is, what causes sex addiction and why sex is addictive for some people and not others.

What is sex addiction?

Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder. It causes compulsive sexual thoughts and acts which leads to addictive behavior. Over time, the person suffering usually has to intensify their behaviors in order to achieve the same feeling. This is often done through compulsive masturbation, extensive use of pornography, using sex services and in extreme cases, it can involve illegal activities such as exhibitionism and voyeurism.

Sex addiction can have a devastating impact on the lives of the person with the addiction, their partner and their family. With the right treatment, however, full recovery is possible and people often go on to lead happy and fulfilled lives with the love of a partner beside them.

It can be difficult for loved ones to understand the nature of sexual addiction. Many assume that compulsive acts are carried out for pleasure. This is however, very rarely the case. Sufferers are usually struggling to cope with the causes of sexual addiction and typically feel shame, anxiety, depression and many other negative emotions when engaging in such activities.

What are the causes of sex addiction?

The causes of sexual addiction are still somewhat unclear, but psychologists are starting to understand more about the condition thanks to the increasing number of studies being carried out.

 The most commonly discussed causes of sex addiction include:

The way the brain is wired

Because antidepressants and other psychotropic medications have proved effective when treating sexual addiction, it’s possible that a biochemical abnormality or other brain changes increase a person’s risk factor.

Some studies theorize that compulsive sexual behavior shares the same reward system and circuits in the brain as eating and substance addiction. This pathway then leads into the area of the brain responsible for our higher thinking, rational thoughts and judgements. This would mean that in the same way that our brain tells us food is good when we’re hungry, it would tell someone with an addiction that illicit sex is a good thing too.

These brain changes often result in a person becoming preoccupied with sex. They will typically lose interest in other things they once enjoyed and will continue with their behaviors even if it’s causing harm and they desperately want to stop.

There are also certain chemicals in the brain, such as serotonin and dopamine which help to regulate our moods. Several studies have suggested that high levels of these neurotransmitters may be linked to an increased likelihood of compulsive sexual behaviors.

Mental health problems

It’s common for those who are addicted to sex to have an underlying mental health condition such as depression or anxiety. Unpleasant feelings such as sadness, loneliness and feeling helpless could trigger compulsive sexual behaviors as the person struggles to cope with their emotions.

Studies also show that people who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder are more likely to engage in excessive or risky sexual behavior.

Certain health conditions

Research has shown that another cause of sex addiction could be related to certain diseases or health problems. Epilepsy and dementia may cause damage to parts of the brain which affect sexual behavior, and the dopamine agonist medications used to treat Parkinson’s could cause compulsive sexual behavior.

Trauma

Trauma is the most widely accepted cause of sexual addiction because it’s so often seen in patients.

Countless studies and research has shown that people suffering with sex addiction often come from dysfunctional families, have been abused or suffered some other form of trauma. One particular study did in fact find that 82% of people being treated with the addiction had been sexually abused as a child.

Other stress-inducing experiences including neglect, the loss of a parent, witnessing domestic or other physical violence and having a family member who suffers from a mental illness. This kind of trauma can even include parental enmeshment, which is when parents derive all of their happiness and self-worth from their children and their achievements.

Contrary to popular belief, sex addiction isn’t about the act of sex itself. Sufferers very rarely get pleasure out of it and are instead often left feeling guilty, ashamed, hopeless, empty and alone. It is instead an attempt to seek pleasure in order to avoid unpleasant feelings or a reaction to outside stressors such as work difficulties or personal problems.

Biological factors

Some sex addiction causes can be linked to biological factors.

  • Genes – our genes mean we may have a predisposition to many of the risk factors linked to sex addiction. This includes difficulty when it comes to emotional regulation, anxiety, depression, impulsivity and/or sensation-seeking bahaviors
  • Hormones – higher levels of the sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen, can affect libido. People with high levels of sex-related hormones may be more likely to engage in excess sexual activities

Social factors

There are a number of social factors which may cause a person to seek out less healthy ways of finding sexual gratification.

  • Rejection in relationships and social circles
  • Social isolation
  • Social learning. If we have friends/s, colleagues or parents who engage in excess sexual activities, we’re more likely to become influenced by their behavior. We’re particularly vulnerable to this type of ‘modeling’ when we like or identify with the other person/people. If you go to a bar with a group of close friends for example, and towards the end of the night several members of the group decide to try to find someone to take home with them, you’re more likely to try to do the same yourself, even if this was never your intention at the beginning of the night.

What are the signs of sex addiction?

If you think that you or someone you know may suffer with sexual addiction, below are some of the most common signs to look out for.

  • Being preoccupied with or always craving/thinking about sex. You or your loved one may spend a considerable amount of time on activities related to sex such as looking for potential partners, visiting pornographic websites and frequenting venues where this type of behavior is encouraged.
  • Becoming increasingly secretive about where you’re going or what you’re doing.
  • Becoming angry or defensive when questioned about behaviors.
  • Compulsive behaviors such as increasing the frequency or intensity of sexual activities.
  • Sexual behaviors are becoming increasingly extreme.
  • Other responsibilities are being neglected or even completely ignored in the pursuit of sex.
  • Behaviors continue despite the negative consequences. Sadly, it often takes someone to hit rock bottom before they will get help.
  • Feeling irritable when unable to engage in sexual activities.
  • Lack of boundaries.
  • You may notice physical symptoms such as unwanted pregnancy, venereal diseases, sexual dysfunction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression.

If you think that you or a loved one could be suffering, please speak to a sex addiction counselor. Recovery is almost impossible without the correct support. Once in recovery however, you will learn everything you need to know including what caused the addiction, how to identify triggers and coping mechanisms.

For further information about sex addiction treatment or to find out more about what causes sexual addiction treatment, please get in touch with Toronto Trauma and Addiction Counselling and we’ll be happy to help.

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