When trauma is left unresolved, it is very easy for the Parts to take over. When they do, they can cause all kinds of issues for trauma victims. In fact, sometimes Parts can take over to the point where they begin to inherently change the life of a person altogether.
Trauma Symptoms Vs. Beliefs
In her book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, Janina Fisher tells a story about a client by the name of Nelly. Nelly stated that she was depressed, but when she was asked to give information about the symptoms she was experiencing, she was not able to do it.
Instead, Nelly focused on some firmly held beliefs she had about herself. She listed things like:
- Being disorganized
- Being lazy
- Feeling ashamed
- Feeling incompetent
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Believing she was a failure
Nelly had spent far too much time allowing her Parts to influence her life without attempting to understand them or empathize with them. Before long, it began impacting her life in major ways.
Nelly found that she struggled to get out of bed in the morning and would often sleep into the afternoon. She stopped taking care of her home and herself.
This client’s beliefs about herself had overtaken her life, and she needed help to find her Self again.
Nelly’s Background
Nelly came from a home where she did not know who she was supposed to be as a child. Her father was abusive and narcissistic and he was threatened when his children accomplished too much and angered when they failed.
The result left her as an underachiever who never quite measured up to her father’s standards. As she grew into an adult, she found that she had no idea who she was as a person. Her Self had been hijacked by a child Part that used to protect her from her father’s anger. Nelly also had another Part that had a voice that sounded very similar to her father’s voice that would criticize her almost constantly.
That criticism prevented Nelly from reaching her full potential in her personal and professional life. She was always worried about failing and eventually, she became afraid to even leave her house for fear that she would encounter more people like her father.
Identifying With Nelly
Unfortunately, a lot of trauma victims can identify with how Nelly felt about herself and the world around her. When the Parts take over and the Self is so suppressed, it can present like depression. Yet, trauma victims who feel this way cannot fully vocalize any depressive symptoms; they mostly focus on what they believe about themselves.
Coping with trauma is extremely hard, and sadly, many trauma therapists adhere to the “old” model of treatment, which has not shown much promise at all.
If you are struggling because of a traumatic experience, help is available to you. Together, we can explore the Parts that are working against you and learn how to understand and empathize with them.
Please contact me today to make an appointment.
