The term relational trauma refers to any event involving a person betraying, abandoning, or failing to support someone they have an attachment bond with. Another term for this is attachment injury. Relational traumas make it difficult to cope and tend to reframe relationships into something dangerous instead of a place of safety during stressful times.
Many trauma victims are suffering as a result of relational traumas at the hands of their partners.
How do Relational Traumas Lead to PTSD?
Researchers have found that after undergoing a relational trauma, victims start interacting with the person who caused the trauma in one of two different ways.
Either one is likely to cause symptoms of PTSD, which include anxious feelings, paranoia, flashbacks, insomnia, and several others.
Sex Addiction and Relational Trauma
When a person is betrayed within a committed relationship, what they consider to be their relationship norms are violated. This can result in a relational trauma. Unfortunately, research is lacking when it comes to linking sex addiction to attachment injuries. Far more conclusions have been drawn between infidelity and this type of trauma.
It’s concerning that fewer therapists recognize that sex addiction can lead to relational trauma. This is especially true considering the fact that a person who is addicted to sex:
Pornography is a perfect example of a behavior that often leads to or is a symptom of sex addiction. It is rampant in committed relationships, and while there is an abundance of help available to the addicted individual, there isn’t as much assistance available to the spouses or partners who have become relational trauma victims as a result.
Identifying Poor Solutions to Healing from Relational Trauma
Even therapists who view relational trauma as real when it stems from a partner’s sex addiction don’t always navigate it well. Before long, it’s common for those therapists to steer the victim toward forgiveness, moving past it, and focusing on themselves.
There are also some trauma therapists who will encourage the victim to participate in the addictive behaviors. This is confusing and it only causes more emotional pain and trauma. Many victims start to question themselves and their own beliefs and norms.
The goal in relational trauma therapy should always be to receive validation, to feel understood, and to be supported. Therapists should be equipping these victims to work through the pain they’re experiencing so they can move toward healing.
It’s not always easy to find a therapist who understands the best and most effective ways to work through relational trauma. However, if you feel you’ve been a victim of this type of trauma, I can help you.
Attachment injuries are common and you deserve to have your voice heard. You deserve to know that someone understands what you’re going through and can help you work through these difficult feelings. Please contact me for an appointment.
