One of the most common questions surrounding addiction is why do some people get hooked and others don’t?
Although we understand more about drug and alcohol addiction than ever before, there are still many questions surrounding sex addiction, how to define it, what causes it and why some people are more prone to it than others.
Why can some people control their use of online pornography for example and others can’t? How come some people don’t seem to be able to control their urge to have extramarital affairs even though they wholeheartedly love their partner?
The causes of sexual addiction are complex and there is no single factor that determines whether a person will become addicted to sex or not. An individual’s risk for addiction is influenced by a combination of biological and environmental factors however and this can therefore make them more or less likely to suffer from it.
This can include:
Genetics: genes can play a significant part in whether or not someone develops an addiction. For example, children with an addicted parent are four times more likely than children without an addicted parent to become addicts themselves.
Underlying psychiatric conditions: individuals who suffer from psychiatric conditions such as anxiety, depression or mood illnesses have a higher chance of becoming an addict than someone who does not suffer from such disorders.
An addiction typically starts when psychiatric disorders overwhelm individuals with feelings of sadness, anger or confusion. Burdened with these feelings, individuals may look for a self-medicating solution – such as sex and this is what can lead to addiction. On the other hand, someone with an otherwise healthy frame of mind can participate in sex without becoming addicted to it. Treatment for psychiatric conditions is an important part of sexual addiction recovery.
Trauma: suffering from a traumatic event, such as abuse or neglect during childhood or the loss of a loved one can strongly factor into an individual’s likelihood of developing an addiction. It’s not just sex addiction that sufferers may be vulnerable to however. Other addictions such as alcohol, gambling or drugs are equally as likely to occur.
The effect on the brain: research has started comparing sex addiction to other types of addiction and are shedding light on the reasons why some people develop a compulsion to it. The ways that addiction affects the frontal lobe regions of the brain are of particular interest because these areas monitor things like compulsivity and the ability to make sound decisions.
Just like a person with a compulsive desire to overeat feels that their brain urges them to eat even when hunger isn’t present, people with a sexual addiction may have obsessive and unwanted thoughts about sex. They may be unable to stop themselves from participating in activities such as viewing pornography or pursuing sexual relationships that they shouldn’t.
As with any addiction, each encounter with sex or pornography may bring a sense of pleasure to the brain. As a result, the brain continues to crave these experiences and the person with the addiction is locked in a vicious cycle.
A history of unsuccessful relationships: many of those who suffer with sex addiction have a history of unsuccessful personal relationships. They may use sex as a way of diverting the unpleasant emotions they associate with forming bonds with people. However, any pleasure is short-lived and often replaced by feelings of shame and guilt. In order to try and counteract these feelings, they may continue to engage in sexual behaviors to provide a relief from these feelings and destructive behavior patterns ensue. In addition, to simply counteracting the unpleasant feelings, often those struggling with sexual behaviours are using the sex instead of true intimacy. Although the name given is sex / porn addiction, in truth, it should really be called an intimacy disorder. While this is a conversation in of itself, suffice it to say for now that people with a sex addiction are struggling with an ability to be truly intimate with a partner. Due to various factors in their family of origin, the map in their brain does not allow them to be vulnerable in the true sense of the word with the person they may love most.
If you think that you or someone you know may need sex addiction treatment, please feel free to contact Toronto Trauma & Addiction Counselling in the strictest of confidence and we will be more than happy to help.
