Humans are remarkable creatures, and we all have basic survival demands that change as we move from infancy into childhood and then into adolescence and finally, into adulthood.
When our natural defenses fail us, our brains and bodies are programmed to “play dead.” They may shut down, and when they do, we may go unconscious or even just pretend to be asleep in response to trauma.
This behavior continues long after the traumatic event has passed. As humans, it is instinct for us to become psychologically distant from traumatic events or “deep memories” in order to avoid being overwhelmed by them. Coping means splitting off psychologically. This can make it hard to decipher between what happened then, what is happening now, and what might happen in the future.
The Role of the Self
Every person has a Self that must go, even in the face of extreme trauma. Sometimes that means going through the very basic motions of life and disowning the horror that was experienced during the traumatic event. It is a survival response, and that is why the Parts pick up on those heavy emotions.
When children dissociate from trauma, it allows them to continue growing and developing. The Self goes on to focus on age-appropriate learning and tasks, but the trauma is still there, in the background.
Eventually, the person disowns sad, lonely, angry or needy Parts as a way to cope. They must be walled off because they interfere. Sometimes the Self is also disowned; especially in cases where trauma occurred at the hands of caretakers as a way to blame it on their vulnerability.
Acting Out and Acting In
When trauma victims disown their Parts or the Self, it makes it impossible to feel their emotional responses. They lose touch with who they are as people. They lose the ability to exercise their “emotional muscles,” which can make all feelings – good or bad – become intolerable over time.
People in this state often experience acting out – such as forming addictions – and acting in – such as self-hatred and self-judgment. The Parts can split off and even become unaware of each other.
It helps to understand that the human brain is designed with this capability. The right and left brains are different structures, so the left brain manages the aspect of Self as it goes on with life as normal. The right brain is then left with the task of handling those emotions that are hard to deal with. When the person does not seek help after experiencing a traumatic event, they get into a routine of managing their lives as best they can.
But even though our brains are designed to survive traumatic events, that does not mean victims should have to struggle to cope day to day. Trauma therapy has changed a lot over the last few years, and the right therapist can help victims learn about their Parts, identify the Self and bring back the harmony that was lost because of the event.
I can help. If you would like to make an appointment, please contact me today.
